I'm actually going to take this particular blog in a new direction with the new year. I struggle with finding things to be grateful for (especially after the 19th surgery in 12 1/2 years with more in the future). In fact, I don't know if it's the time of year or because of this latest surgery, but I've found myself dealing with fighting my demons again. Now I don't mean actual demons ... Anyway... I mean dealing with my demons of deep depression and feelings of abandonment. The week before Christmas was particularly bad, in part, because I was stuck elevating my scoped knee and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. On one of those days, I was dwelling on how I always seem to feel like there is nothing but sadness or anger in my life when a small phrase from my Patriarchal Blessing popped into my head. It was a simple three word phrase that is repeated time and again in my Blessing: "joy and happiness." I also had the thought that surely in my *cough cough* 40 years of life, there had to be moments of joy so I started brainstorming for weeks, days, hours, moments, minutes, seconds of joy in my life.
Surprise, surprise. I found that there were/are moments of joy in my life! So to make a long story short, I've decided that rather than focusing on gratitude, at least for a while, I'm going to focus on JOY. Who, what, where, when, and why has brought me JOY.
Sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride. Most of all, thanks for reading.
